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To Merge or not to Merge…

Published by sam - 23/10/07 - 04:10:38 pm

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When my spouse and I first moved in together (yes, before we were married) we kept everything generally separate. We opened a joint checking account, and we each deposited a set amount into it per month to cover all of our joint bills, like rent and utilities, and groceries (I cook, he doesn’t, so our groceries became joint). That sort of worked. Except my spouse and I split all the bills 50/50 and my income was a third of what his was (I was in graduate school). I had left my graduate student housing to move in with him, and it was significantly more expensive than where I was living before.

Eventually, my spouse’s mother set him straight on what a financial burden he was creating for me (without any input from me - she just assumed he was paying more than I was and her assumption made him think about the actual reality) and we had a big talk and we decided to completely merge our finances. By this point we were engaged and the wedding was only a few months away so it wasn’t as big a step as it could have been. I took on his credit card debt, he took on mine, and we sailed off into the sunset… or at least, to where we are now.

For us, it has been much easier to have merged finances. First off, we made the choice for me to leave my job and move when my spouse got a job offer in another state. The economy here is pretty sluggish and I wasn’t able to find comparable full time employment to what I had where we last lived. We also made the decision for me to stay home with our children for the first few years, so my income is not enough to pay any share of the bills we have. For us these were joint financial decisions, so our joint finances reflect that.

I know that many people keep finances separate very successfully but for us, I can’t imagine the logistical nightmare of figuring that out regarding the kid-related expenses and things like that even if we both had comparable incomes. And generally, all of our expenses are joint now. I can see it working easier for people who don’t have children.

What’s your take? Joint or separate finances? What was your deciding factor?
Source: http://www.paidtwice.com/2007/10/18/to-merge-or-not-to-merge/

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